TBT: Baking Cakes Ain’t Like Dusting Crops, Boy!

A cake decorated to look like the Millennium Falcon, resting on a bed of brown sugar and surrounded by Star Wars action figures.
Yes, it is a crappy quality picture. It was 2010 and I took it with my OG Motorola Droid phone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Out of all the cakes I’ve baked for the kids, this is still my favorite. Originally published April 25, 2010 on my old A Frayed Knot Knits blog. Also, this has been sitting as a draft on this blog since 2015, idk why.  But it’s Thursday, and reading through this I was proud of myself all over again, and it’s still my favorite cake I’ve ever decorated, so:

Somehow, my daughter has become a huge Star Wars fan. I know, right, how could this possibly have happened? She has recently:

  • cried when watching Darth Vader’s body burned on a pyre at the end of Jedi
  • told me that I shouldn’t be watching Fanboys because “We don’t watch other Star Wars movies! Only Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi!
  • declared that she wants Darth Vader to be her father instead of Luke’s because “Luke is a bad boy and doesn’t deserve him.”
  • announced that she wants to be Han Solo when she grows up
  • requested demanded a Millennium Falcon cake for her 4th birthday, with Han Solo, Darth Vader, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia, but not Luke, “because Luke is too whiny.” Because I’m a sucker for the Millennium Falcon, and a challenge, and my little girl, I said, “Sure! How hard can it be?” And then I found out:

The party was Saturday at 4pm. Giant props to Kit for handling every detail of the party, from scheduling the space (Build-A-Bear) to taking care of the invites to greeting the parents and filming the party, leaving me free to concentrate fully on the cake.

I had originally thought to do gum-paste figures, but the tiny little sane part of my brain said, “Hey, dummy — they make perfectly good action figures, and then the kid will have a bonus birthday present, too!” So I went out and got everything but a Leia (because the Toys’R’Us I was at didn’t have one, but she was not terribly missed, so it’s okay). I had already ordered the most awesomest birthday candle EVAH for her: Darth Vader holding as his lightsaber a red candle.

After some hemming and hawing, Becky settled on both chocolate and vanilla for the actual cake. I do not particularly enjoy actually baking cakes, which means I don’t do it often enough to get really good at it, which means I bought mixes. My mom’s in town (hi, Mom!) and she helped me get the mixes all mixed and into the oven. One large (13×9) chocolate rectangle for the bottom, and two 9″ vanilla circles for the top + accessories. They came out fine, and we were ready to carve them Friday.

Now that I think about it, perhaps “ready” isn’t the right word…I wasn’t quite prepared for the reality of carving cake, and got pretty frustrated, especially with the cockpit. I finally ended up with something I thought would work, but it was clearly unstable and would need to be attached just prior to putting the fondant on, which I had planned for Saturday morning. Here’s what it looked like Friday night when I was done:

Bright and early Saturday, Kit took the kids for a walk, and I started putting it together and getting it ready for frosting. I had done the carving on a board, but wanted to transfer it to the actual presentation board before frosting. This necessitated planning the layout, so we opened up all the action figures and the candle, which promptly broke at the ankles. All attempts to repair it failed, and actually broke the base even further. Lacking the time to panic, I decided to just set it aside and deal with it later.

We decided where the ship should be on the board, and I commenced frosting it (in case you’ve never worked with fondant before, you put a thin layer of regular frosting on to “glue” the fondant). This meant it was time to attach the cockpit, which promptly disintegrated. You can see in the picture above that I had originally carved the cockpit piece out of the vanilla cake, and as it turns out, the chocolate cake holds together a little better. So I quickly re-carved it out of a piece of chocolate cake that was in my big bowl o’ cake scraps, and skewered it on. And then the bottom fell off, and I panicked.

While part of my brain was panicking, the other part was applying frosting and considering the situation. I finally came to the conclusion that the solution was to cheat. So I went upstairs and got some styrofoam and carved my third cockpit. This one didn’t fall apart, and I moved on to the actually fondanting.

There were a couple of tricky things about applying the fondant, mostly because the shape has a lot of nooks and crannys and this is only the second time I’ve ever used fondant, so I’m not particularly well-versed in manupulating it. But I got it on the cake with no real problems, and despite some cutting errors and a little bunching on the back, I thought it looked pretty good. It was, at the very least, the right shape:

Oh! Before I did the big fondanting bit, I decided it would be a good idea to practice a little and remind myself of how the fondant moves and acts. So I built the sensor dish, which ended up being my favorite part of the cake:

Now that I had the fondant on, it was time for the decorating. I cut out the dots that are a recognizable part of the top of the MF, with the plan of spray painting them with the black frosting I’d purchased for the dual purposes of painting said dots and also dirtying up the finished ship. It turns out that the “black” spray frosting is really more of a “light silver gray,” even after several applications. So it was off to Michael’s for emergency black frosting coloring…and where I found food-safe markers, including black. Win!

Back home, I set Mom to the task of coloring the dots, while I began applying the details with white piping. Then I changed my mind and decided most of the lines should be scored, with a very few details sticking up. So I scraped it down and started over, and let the sane part of my brain convince the panicky part that we had plenty of time as long as we didn’t get too carried away. Applying the blue of the engines to the back was considerably less stressful than I had thought it was going to be, and it improved the lines of the back of the cake quite a lot.

Now, Becky had specifically requested that we included the red/rust detailing — it’s on the real thing, and it’s on one of her toys but not the other — so I used the red marker to color that in, and then went back and piped in a few details here and there, using her two MF toys for reference (incidentally, I highly recommend having a 3D model on hand when doing something like this — much better than trying to find pictures with the right angles on the internet). I redid the cockpit a couple of times, and never was quite happy with it, but finally I had to declare it finished. I took it outside and gave it a quick spritzing with the “black” spray frosting, just to scunge it up a little.

I have to say, I was pretty pleased with the end result. It’s not the best looking Millennium Falcon cake I’ve ever seen, but I think I did a pretty good job for someone who doesn’t really decorate cakes:

I was a little annoyed about only having the foil for it to sit on, but then I had an idea while I was in the shower (yes, I finished in enough time that I was able to shower and even iron my skirt before we had to leave for the party!)…on the way I grabbed a couple bags of brown sugar and when we set the cake up, I think it looked a lot like it was parked on the sands at Mos Eisley:

And look! I solved the Darth Vader problem and the gun turret problem (at some point I realized that I should have guns up there and I wasn’t sure what the hell I was going to do) in one fell swoop! Yay me!

Next time, I’m going to make someone else cut the cake — it was a lot harder emotionally than I expected it to be. It took about 5 minutes to go from the above to this, and I really felt like I needed a good lie-down afterwards:

(Incidentally, when you stack cakes on top of one another, don’t forget to put a layer of frosting in there — you’ll thank yourself when it’s time to serve.)

I have to give tremendous thanks to Kit and Grandma Tedi for all their help and encouragement and keeping the kids out of the kitchen/dining room/my way. And especially thank you to Becky, who told me at every stage how awesome her Millennium Falcon cake looked, and made me remember why I was doing this even when I was so frustrated with the cockpit that I was seriously considering sending Kit to the A&P for a plain old sheet cake. Love you all!

Cheesecake Factory-style cheesecake

The internet ate my recipe. I’m busy using all the bad words I know right now, but I’ll re-type it up sometime this weekend. #$@&%*!

 

This is essentially this recipe, halved and cooked in the Instapot. Also, noting here that my cheesecakes always crack like a mofo. There are tips and tricks all over the internet about how to prevent that, but to be completely honest I just don’t care all that much.

Cheesecake Factory-style cheesecake
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Cheesecake Factory-style cheesecake
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Basic Butter Pie Crust

You can make this basic crust by hand or in a food processor. The most important tips are to work with butter straight from the fridge, use ice water, and not to overmix – make sure your butter doesn’t melt and you don’t overwork the flour. You can also add flavorings to this crust: I like to substitute rum for some of the water and add a little cinnamon for pecan pie, or add a bit of seasoning if I’m using the crust for a savory pie.

This recipe makes a single crust. For a double crust pie, double the recipe.

Basic Butter Pie Crust
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Servings
1 crust
Servings
1 crust
Basic Butter Pie Crust
Print Recipe
Servings
1 crust
Servings
1 crust
Ingredients
Servings: crust
Instructions
  1. In a food processor, pulse together the flour, any dry flavorings, and butter until the mixture resembles coarse meal. (If working by hand, cut butter into flour, being careful not to warm butter as you work)
  2. Begin adding water 1 Tbsp at a time until dough just comes together, pulsing or mixing as you go. If you are adding liquid for flavor, alternate with the ice water.
  3. Turn out onto plastic wrap and form into a disc. Chill to firm, about 15 minutes.
  4. Roll out with a heavy rolling pin and place in pie dish.
  5. Trim excess.
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Irish Soda Bread

Irish Soda Bread
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Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 15 minutes
Cook Time
30-40 minutes
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 15 minutes
Cook Time
30-40 minutes
Irish Soda Bread
Print Recipe
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 15 minutes
Cook Time
30-40 minutes
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 15 minutes
Cook Time
30-40 minutes
Ingredients
Servings: loaf
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 375°
  2. Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt
  3. Add buttermilk and cut in with a fork or pit crust cutter until combined
  4. Tip dough out on to parchment paper lined baking sheet and knead for 30 seconds
  5. Form dough into oval loaf about 8" long
  6. Score a cross into loaf
  7. Bake for 30-40m
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Monkey Bread

Monkey Bread
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(adapted from AllRecipes.com)
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 45 m
Cook Time Passive Time
25 m 3 hr
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 45 m
Cook Time Passive Time
25 m 3 hr
Monkey Bread
Print Recipe
(adapted from AllRecipes.com)
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 45 m
Cook Time Passive Time
25 m 3 hr
Servings Prep Time
1 loaf 45 m
Cook Time Passive Time
25 m 3 hr
Ingredients
dough
topping
Servings: loaf
Instructions
  1. Set bread machine to Dough. Put yeast, flour, cinnamon, salt, sugar, butter, and water in machine in the order recommended by the manufacturer and start cycle.
  2. When dough is complete, turn out onto well-floured board and knead 10-20 times.
  3. Butter bundt pan.
  4. In a small saucepan, melt together butter and brown sugar.
  5. Cut dough into 1″ cubes.
  6. Dredge cubes in butter/sugar mixture (Yes, it’s hot. Be careful.) and drop evenly into prepared bundt pan.
  7. Let rise in covered bundt pan for 20m.
  8. Preheat oven to 375°F and continue to let do rise for another 5 minutes.
  9. Bake at 375°F for 20-25 minutes (until golden brown).
  10. To serve immediately, place a plate over the top of the pan and invert them together. You may need to give the bottom of the pan a thump after you’ve got them flipped.
  11. To serve the next morning, leave in pan and reheat at 375°F for 10-15 minutes (until butter/sugar mixture is gooey again). Serve as directed above.
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Flourless Chocolate Cookies

aka, “Crinkle Cookies”. These are great to make with the egg whites left over from my brownie recipe, and if you have GF person in your house they’ll almost make up for not being able to have the actual brownies. Almost.

 

 

Flourless Chocolate Cookies
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Servings Prep Time
24 cookies 15 minutes
Cook Time
12 minutes
Servings Prep Time
24 cookies 15 minutes
Cook Time
12 minutes
Flourless Chocolate Cookies
Print Recipe
Servings Prep Time
24 cookies 15 minutes
Cook Time
12 minutes
Servings Prep Time
24 cookies 15 minutes
Cook Time
12 minutes
Ingredients
Servings: cookies
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 355° F
  2. Line cookie sheet with parchment
  3. In a large bowl, whisk dry ingredients together
  4. Add egg whites and vanilla extract, whisking until fully blended. Dough should be thick but moist (like a very thick cake batter)
  5. Place spoonfuls of dough on prepared cookie sheet, leaving space for cookies to spread
  6. Bake for 12-14 minutes, until tops are glossy and cracked.
  7. Let cool for 5 minutes on sheet, then transfer to cooling rack (I have found this is easiest if I leave the cookies on the parchment, then remove the paper when the cookies are completely cool)
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Gettin’ the Blog Back Together

It would be a tremendous understatement to say that a lot has happened since the last time I posted here. The tl;dr version is: finally found a fantastic new job, worked real hard at it, company got slammed by virus fallout*, and here I am with time on my hands.

I’ve done more baking and crafting the past couple of months than I did in probably the previous two years, between hard-core job hunting and then ramping up into the new job in a new field (construction and renovation!), and I’d been starting to think about getting back to blogging. Now it’s time to stop thinking about it and start doing it.

One of the first questions Kit (that’s my amazing husband, in case I haven’t mentioned him by name before) asked me when I delivered the sad news about being on the dole was, “when does the therapeutic baking start?” The answer is tomorrow, but with a twist: I’m going to (mostly) be making things I’ve never made before.

I’d already started doing this a little the past couple of weeks – I’ve been working remote with this new job since last June, but with nowhere to go it seemed like I had a lot more time on my hands. I also started a rewatch of GBBO – so relaxing! – which may have influenced me a tad. So I’ve already made a roll cake:

Lemon cake with lingonberry jam and vanilla buttercream. Paul Hollywood-style critique: – Sponge is over baked and a little rubbery – Flavors are good together, but vanilla frosting is so sweet it almost overwhelms the lemon flavor – Frosting is a little thick, although proportions are right. Might have been better with a thinner layer inside, then frosting the outside.

 

a couple of challah loaves

You can’t really see the crumb on this, but it’s super dense. It was tasty, but very crumby. I suspect this is because the recipe was from my no-knead book, and also my water might not have been warm enough to get my yeast super activated. Going to try again with a traditional recipe.

and some meringue cookies (not pictured – they were the right shape and  consistency, but the bake went badly and they were just…off, in a bunch of different ways. I’m going to retry them at 200° instead of 225°, and a half batch instead of crowding the oven). Oh, also zucchini bread, not pictured – it came out fine, but was underspiced. Will definitely make again.

I have a pretty lengthy list of things I still want to try, including but not limited to:

  • carrot cake (maybe cupcakes)
  • Olive Garden style breadsticks
  • chocolate swiss roll cake
  • naan
  • pitas
  • tortillas
  • treacle tart (blame GBBO for this  one)
  • lemon meringue pie
  • GF lemon cookies
  • pineapple upside down cake
  • puff pastry
  • cheesy garlic monkey bread

This is by no means an comprehensive list, but it’s a start. And that’s just the baking. Tomorrow, I’m planning to bake a big pan of brownies and that cheesy garlic monkey bread from the list. I’m also going to make some 3 Bean Taco Soup – that’s not a new dish, and I’ll snap some pics and get the recipe up for y’all next week.

Next week I’ll also talk some more about my non-kitchen oriented crafting plans, and we’ll get this blog thing rolling along again. It’s good to be back — I’ve missed being here!

Lola’s back, tell a friend…

*Sweeten is the company, and it is truly a group of wonderful people providing a service that really helps people through the construction and renovation process. If you’re planning to do any serious work on your home when things ramp back up, I encourage you to go ahead and list your project at Sweeten.com to get a head start. And if you’re a general contractor, let me say first that it is so cool that you’re here reading my blog, but also, go sign up to join Sweeten’s network – it’s free to join, and there’s no fee unless you’re successfully awarded a project.

Lemon Poppy Seed Loaves: A Tragical Tale of Hunger and Woe

A while back, my beloved husband starting using a new scent of deodorant that smells just like lemon muffins. I am a huge fan of this, except that it makes me hungry for lemon muffins, which I have not had the opportunity to obtain of late. So today I had some spare time, and also had (in anticipation of just such an occasion) ordered some poppy seeds and lemon powder from Penzey’s (<3 them!). Aha!, I thought, Finally, it is time to satisfy my craving!

I pulled out a bowl and whisked together two cups of sugar, a cup and a half of milk, some lemon juice, three eggs, a cup of vegetable oil, and a splash of vanilla. Then I added in three cups of flour, and grabbed the salt out of the cabinet. Except it was stuck. See, our spice cabinet is a tad full these days (thanks to the aforementioned Penzey’s) (still <3 them!) so the salt somehow got relegated to the top shelf, where it not only needed to be tilted a particular way to get it out, but also it was kind of wedged in between some other things. So I yanked on it, and it finally popped out…and slipped out of my hand.

Now, I know you’re probably thinking it landed in that big bowl of almost-dough and things got a little messy…but you’re wrong. No, it did not land in the bowl. It smacked the edge of the bowl at just exactly the right angle to flip the bowl, depositing the not-yet mixed dough all over the counter, floor, and me.

🙁

Cheater Mousse Pie

Some years ago (pre-kids so at least 11, but probably more), there was a recipe on the side of Jello pudding for “Five Minute Pie”. I was extremely skeptical. Oh, sure, I thought, they say “five minutes” but that probably only includes the time to put everything in the bowl or something. In my kitchen experience, nothing ever takes less than twice as much “prep time” as indicated by the recipe.

But…it did sound delicious. And easy. So what if it did take 10 or 15 minutes to throw it together? That’s still pretty quick, right? So I gathered everything up and started whisking. I’ll be damned if that pie wasn’t in its crust and ready to eat in 5 minutes, including package opening time.

The next one I made, I took to a party. Everyone was SUPER impressed. What a lovely chocolate mousse pie I had made! I absolutely must give them the recipe! Holy cannoli, this 5 minute pie thing was a huge hit! I started making it for everything. You can fancy it up by piping on the whipped cream or adding chocolate shavings. People will think you’ve spent hours on this thing. And it really is very tasty.

I lost the recipe a while back, but thanks to the interwebs have recently rediscovered this magical, mousse-ical pie.

I’ve been seeing a thing on food blogs lately where it’s a bajillion pictures of the same thing and you have to scroll forever to get to the actual recipe. So I won’t be doing that, ever. BUT, I thought I might try doing some step-outs in the recipe itself. I’m not sure I like it, but let me know what you think!

Cheater Mousse Pie
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Servings Prep Time
8 I mean, it's a pie. I could probably eat a whole one by myself, but if you want to share cut it into as many slices as you like. 5 minutes (for real!)
Servings Prep Time
8 I mean, it's a pie. I could probably eat a whole one by myself, but if you want to share cut it into as many slices as you like. 5 minutes (for real!)
Cheater Mousse Pie
Print Recipe
Servings Prep Time
8 I mean, it's a pie. I could probably eat a whole one by myself, but if you want to share cut it into as many slices as you like. 5 minutes (for real!)
Servings Prep Time
8 I mean, it's a pie. I could probably eat a whole one by myself, but if you want to share cut it into as many slices as you like. 5 minutes (for real!)
Ingredients
  • 2 boxes chocolate pudding The regular size, not family size.
  • 1 container Cool Whip The regular size tub, not the giant one.
  • 1 1/4 cups milk I use skim, because that's what we have on hand. Use what you have.
  • 1 pre-made cookie crust I like the chocolate ones, but the Nilla wafer or graham cracker ones are fine, too. The Oreo ones are little too intense for this recipe.
  • Mini chocolate chips optional -- for decor
Servings: I mean, it's a pie. I could probably eat a whole one by myself, but if you want to share cut it into as many slices as you like.
Instructions
  1. Whisk pudding and milk together until fully combined.
  2. Whisk in half of Cool Whip. Mixture will be very thick. Mousse-like, even.
  3. Spoon mixture into crust and spread evenly.
  4. Top with remaining Cool Whip.
  5. Add other toppings as desired
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Oh, hai

img_20160505_083531544.jpg
This is me, joyfully eating a thing for which you will find the recipe below.

So, obviously I did not make it back to Make’n’Tell last month. I still haven’t finished that sweater, though the end is finally in sight (and it turns out the deadline was May 12, not April, so at least I didn’t actually miss the deadline). I’ve been sick with allergies and busy doing lots of stuff with family (both the one I live with and my derby one), so I haven’t been making much, or at least not making new stuff.

Although, now that I think about it, I did cook quite a bit, and I really should have blogged that. One of the things I cooked(baked) was these delicious oat-nut bars — I love them for breakfast, and used to make them all the time, but I ran out of coconut oil and never restocked. But a member of my derby family recently was hospitalized with bacterial meningitis, and we wanted to show her some love at our last bout by baking some treats in her honor. I picked these because they remind me of her: Sweet, full of goodness and energy, a little nutty, and totally awesome!

img_20160505_114026.jpg

I originally found this recipe on Half Baked Harvest, and modified it just a tad (mostly by adding the nuts).

Sweet Nutty Goodbars
Print Recipe
A quick energy boost in every bite of these delicious bars.
Servings Prep Time
48 squares (about) 10 minutes
Cook Time
25-30 minutes
Servings Prep Time
48 squares (about) 10 minutes
Cook Time
25-30 minutes
Sweet Nutty Goodbars
Print Recipe
A quick energy boost in every bite of these delicious bars.
Servings Prep Time
48 squares (about) 10 minutes
Cook Time
25-30 minutes
Servings Prep Time
48 squares (about) 10 minutes
Cook Time
25-30 minutes
Ingredients
Servings: squares (about)
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350°
  2. Line 9x13" baking dish with parchment paper****
  3. In a large bowl, mix oatmeal, flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, oil, eggs, and vanilla
  4. Beat until dough holds together -- it will be somewhat oily
  5. Stir in chocolate and nuts
  6. Turn batter into pan, smoothing and evening
  7. Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes, until top is no longer shiny
  8. Do not overbake
  9. Allow bars to cool in pan, then lift out and continue cooling on rack
  10. Slice in to 1 1/2" squares
Recipe Notes

* I have made this with different flour ratios depending on what I have on hand and it comes out just fine.

** You may sub another oil or combination of oils -- I sometimes do a few tablespoons of flax seed.

*** Use whatever chocolate you like. The batch shown has all of the leftover chocolate chips I had -- semi-sweet, dark, bittersweet, even a few minis and some white!

**** Y'all, my baking life has completely changed since I started lining things with parchment paper. If you prefer to butter or spray your pan, you do you. But I'll be over here stuffing my face full of these delicious bars while you're washing that pan.

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